Boy, does the X-Factor get better and better each week. I am officially an addict. The X-Factor has become my very own brand of heroin. I have to (metaphorically, so that this doesn't get taken out of context!) have a fix every week. How on earth will I SURVIVE when it ends?! The X-Factor is slowly morphing into the Shock Factor!! More bitching, more craziness, more melodrama, more talent, if you want more, you'll be getting more with a quick recap...
The Superbitchy...
Three ladies aka girl group Angel, popped up on stage with their hideous rendition of Willow Smith's Whip my Hair, but by the looks of things, these ladies need to be whipped back and forth themselves into shape as their attitude was despicable. Tulisa told them they couldn't sing and one of the girls bounced back by replying 'A bit rich coming from you!', consequently making the audience and the judges jaws drop. The other two girls, on the other hand, just happily stood there on the sidelines, seemingly disapproving and ashamed. Kelly then retaliated and came to Tulisa's defence by telling the girls a few home truths:
"Can I just say one thing, coming from a female group that always talks about how women should come together and they shouldn't be bitchy towards one another - I understand that you have an opinion, but at the same time, you came here for us to judge you and there was no reason for you to come back at her like that.
"I can tell that these two don't appreciate the fact that you did that, because what if you just messed up their chances for an opportunity, they are the group!"
Go Kelly! I'm completely on the judges' side here! What would Germaine Greer or Mary Wollstonecraft say? These girls need to read up on (First, Second
and Third Wave) feminism. That's where my course texts and books from my degree would come in handy methinks. At least now I wouldn't have to throw them all away, I could just highlight all the relevant pages and ram them down their pretty, little out-of-tune, bitchy throats (well one in particular!) I am feeling a massive urge to give them a copy of 'The Vindication of the Rights of Women', since it won't be of any use to me in the near future...
The History repeating itself....
Michael Lewis auditioned last year as a bargain basement Michael Jackson (the poor man would definitely have turned in his grave) in a vivid, sequinned jacket and what looked like an awful wig! This time, he decided to strip himself of all of the gimmicks and pretentiousness and audition as himself. Was he any better? *black woman American Southern accent* OOOH HEEEELLLLL NO! Singing a poor rendition of Geri Halliwell's Look at Me, people were no doubt looking at him but for
all the wrong reasons. Even though it wasn't as disastrous as George Gerasimou's audition, Michael showed absolutely no signs of improvement as he received an inevitable four no's from the judges. He then showed that not only was he lacking talent, but also lacking sanity when he lay on the stage, pleading and begging! WTF?! Two words, Michael: Beat it! Will somebody please put this guy in an asylum?!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE....
The Poignant....
After Gary claimed he was sick of hearing Adele's songs being
murdered sung on the X-Factor, I reckon that he might want to take back those words after Beth Ditto-lookalike Jade walked in and absolutely smashed it!!! She gave a very poignant rendition of Adele's Someone Like You and reduced Kelly and Louis to tears. She seemed extremely likeable and I strongly believe she has the potential to go all the way in the competition. With the power to move the audience and the judges in that way was unbelievable. Watch out, Adele! There is yet another person out to steal your pretty, little platinum crown... All I can say about this girl is WOW!!! This girl's life is about to change FOREVER!!! Amazing!!!! Loved it!!!!
The Mid-life Crisis/Nut Job...
David Wilder - 42 going on 18 indeed! This 42-year-old
teenager wannabe
teenage rock star showed further evidence of the Chico/Jedward/Wagner Syndrome with a completely wacky, OTT and bizarre rendition of David Bowie's Life on Mars where he ran across the stage to the back of the arena for some peculiar reason. He was entertaining
and funny, but baffled the audience and the judges (and me!) Despite being completely out-of-tune, wearing an absolutely hideous outfit and no talent whatsoever, the judges surprisingly voted him through but I can guarantee that he won't last long throughout the competition. But still, bless him. At least he tried...
The Teenage Dream(er)...
16-year-old Luke Lucas aka N-Dubz fan/ Tulisa lover brought the house down with his soulful rendition of Who's Loving You? by Michael Jackson, which proved a very brave choice of song and completely blew the house down, impressing both the audience and the judges. He was so adorable and even had all of his birthdays, Christmases, holidays, graduations, Thanksgivings (OK, getting too American here) all mishmashed into one when he got to peck Tulisa on the cheek and she gave him one back after nodding like an obedient puppy. This boy's teenage dream definitely became a reality!!! Two birds, one stone! *football hooligan accent* GET IN!
Are you loving the X-Factor??? Thoughts?
*excited giggles accompanied with seal clapping*
Last week saw the launch of a brand new gameshow from Simon Cowell, fronted by Ant and Dec, as known as Red or Black, which shows how one colour and one choice can potentially change your life forever. Using a similar format as the X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent with an audition type process in which thousands of people turned up to Wembley competing in several challenges in order to be in the running to winning £1,000,000, resting on one simple choice – red or black? Eventually, providing their choice was the right one, they would reach the live shows and with the help of some of Cowell’s alumni, including JLS and Leona Lewis, they competed further and became one step closer to potentially winning £1,000,000. Win or lose, it was all a matter of luck. For a few people, luck was on their side and they ended up winning the entire prize money and looking forward to a new life. For others, going home empty-handed without so much as a consolation prize was the only other option and going through that process turned out be an entire waste of time. 
Boy, does the X-Factor get better and better each week. I am officially an addict. The X-Factor has become my very own brand of heroin. I have to (metaphorically, so that this doesn't get taken out of context!) have a fix every week. How on earth will I SURVIVE when it ends?! The X-Factor is slowly morphing into the Shock Factor!! More bitching, more craziness, more melodrama, more talent, if you want more, you'll be getting more with a 
(A little late, but so what?!) The madness continues! In the words of Monsieur Cowell, "Embrace the madness!" The second instalment never failed to disappoint and provided us with many surprises as more wannabes auditioned across the country for that life-changing million-pound record deal. It has become somewhat clear that the X-Factor is not what it used to be in terms of the auditionees. It seems to me that they have a clear idea of what direction they want to go in, It seems that this year will finally see the demise of the typical X-Factor winner who is just stripped down and made into a puppet and someone with flair, individuality and creativity. We have singers (obviously), rappers and and songwriters - people who know what kind of artist they want to be and have their own creative visions. people who want to be genuine artists and not just manufactured. Time for a recap methinks!
