The X Factor Live Show Week 3 - The Round Up

Big hair, big egos, big voices, big arguments, big performances...this can only mean one thing: Rock Week! So it is time to find out who was on fire and who was fizzling out in the frying pan. Which acts completely headbanged their way through tonight's show and which ones are just a piece of trash on the floor in a rockstar's hotel room? Feel the heat, embrace the madness, devour the drama, it's time to have a look back at this weeks serving of the X Factor live show...

The X Factor Judges Houses - The Round Up

After a very tough boot camp, the X Factor went global as the 32 finalists flew across many exotic locations from LA to Miami, Greece to Barcelona, all over the world in a last attempt to make it to the live finals. But this was no vacation, it was strictly straight down to business as their fate was hanging by a thread! Some would make the cut, for others it was the next plane home and the competition ended there and then for the contestants. So get ready, for tears, talent, guest judges, singing, hearts being smashed into pieces and then more tears as we round up all the exotic drama as the X Factor goes global. There were many big shocks along the way, but the biggest shock of all I must say was Sinitta being dressed a lot more conservatively?! Not sure what happened there. Maybe she wasn't quite in the mood? Or couldn't be bothered?

Barcelona...

I was right after all! Louis had put Goldie through but she later dropped out and we learnt that she had been replaced by Sami. Also sad that Terry didn't make it through to the next round as I felt he delivered a good enough performance, but I suppose that's how the cookie crumbles. Goldie put in a rather eccentric performance of J.Lo's On the Floor, which was very baffling indeed. She would have been a complete nightmare to mentor so maybe it was a blessing. Or a curse? This was the last we ever saw of her. On the plus side, Jonjo made it through to Louis's final four. Despite being a bag of nerves, he showed tonnes of potential and could be the dark horse of the competition if he finds a way to control his nerves. It was to my utter surprise that Louis had chosen Kitty as he previously mentioned she would be a nightmare to mentor!! Well let's just see how the cookie crumbles on this one!!

LA...

Over in La La Land, Robbie Williams joined Gary in a LA in which he took a leaf out of Sinitta's book (or wardrobe in this case) and made an, ahem, 'grand entrance'. Anyways, it was down to serious business though as the boys were required to sing in order to win a place in the final. Unfortunately, Luke Lucas fell at the last hurdle as he proved to be struggling with his song choice. Despite showing oodles of potential in the first round of auditions, the pressure got too much it wasn't enough to get him through and he was sent home. Gutted about John though - second time unlucky.He was clearly a better singer than Frankie.  James was also a surprise, but I'm glad Craig got through. He'll go far in the competition. Glad Marcus got through, I was really routing for him as he absolutely smashed it. Not too sure about Frankie though. He seems to care more about getting laid then being a popstar. Maybe he should be on the Playboy channel instead of The X Factor...

Miami...

Over at Kelly's house in Miami where she was joined by Oscar-winner and American Idol alumni Jennifer Hudson with the girls. The X Factor became the Shock Factor when Jade failed to make it through and I would like to take this time to show my disdain. She should have went through! She has a beautiful voice! Someone who I never expected to get through was Sophie?! Still not too sure what to make of this but we will have to see whether she will prove to be a dark horse in the competition. Glad Amelia got through where she killed it with her rendition of E.T. Imagine if she and Katy Perry did a duet in the final?! Sick!!!!!!!!!!! No wait. Katy who?! Misha also impressed with her sassy appeal waiting to steal Jennifer's crown. Janet also made it through but needs to come out of her shell a bit! I reckon there are some serious contenders in the Girls category!!!! The heat is on!!!

Greece...

And the award for the most underwhelming category this year goes to .... *drum roll* the Groups. After a lot of mumbling and jumbling at boot camp, the final four were selected. But the jumbling didn't stop there after two lacklustre performances from The Keys and The Risk as Tulisa decided to take a risk of her own as she took the lead singer of The Keys and three fifths of The Risk and created a new group, retaining the name The Risk.  Slightly worrying as it may deter groups from trying out next year. But with the roaring success of One Direction it could work out beautifully. Two Shoes made it as did Nu Vibe and Rhythmix.

And as for the BIG TWIST...

Wonder what it could be...

• Another wild card where a few of the previous contestants are brought back and given a second chance to perform in the live finals?
• The return of Simon Cowell or a fifth judge?
• One of the finalists being eliminated before the finals even begin?

We shall have to wait and see. Exciting though...

The X-Factor Auditions Week 3 - The Round Up

Boy, does the X-Factor get better and better each week. I am officially an addict. The X-Factor has become my very own brand of heroin. I have to (metaphorically, so that this doesn't get taken out of context!) have a fix every week. How on earth will I SURVIVE when it ends?!  The X-Factor is slowly morphing into the Shock Factor!! More bitching, more craziness, more melodrama, more talent, if you want more, you'll be getting more with a quick recap...


The Superbitchy...


Three ladies aka girl group Angel, popped up on stage with their hideous rendition of Willow Smith's Whip my Hair, but by the looks of things, these ladies need to be whipped back and forth themselves into shape as their attitude was despicable. Tulisa told them they couldn't sing and one of the girls bounced back by replying 'A bit rich coming from you!', consequently making the audience and the judges jaws drop. The other two girls, on the other hand, just happily stood there on the sidelines, seemingly disapproving and ashamed. Kelly then retaliated and came to Tulisa's defence by telling the girls a few home truths:

 "Can I just say one thing, coming from a female group that always talks about how women should come together and they shouldn't be bitchy towards one another - I understand that you have an opinion, but at the same time, you came here for us to judge you and there was no reason for you to come back at her like that.
"I can tell that these two don't appreciate the fact that you did that, because what if you just messed up their chances for an opportunity, they are the group!"

Go Kelly! I'm completely on the judges' side here! What would Germaine Greer or Mary Wollstonecraft say? These girls need to read up on (First, Second and Third Wave) feminism. That's where my course texts and books from my degree would come in handy methinks. At least now I wouldn't have to throw them all away, I could just highlight all the relevant pages and ram them down their pretty, little out-of-tune, bitchy throats (well one in particular!) I am feeling a massive urge to give them a copy of 'The Vindication of the Rights of Women', since it won't be of any use to me in the near future...


The History repeating itself....


Michael Lewis auditioned last year as a bargain basement Michael Jackson (the poor man would definitely have turned in his grave) in a vivid, sequinned jacket and what looked like an awful wig! This time, he decided to strip himself of all of the gimmicks and pretentiousness and audition as himself. Was he any better? *black woman American Southern accent* OOOH HEEEELLLLL NO! Singing a poor rendition of Geri Halliwell's Look at Me, people were no doubt looking at him but for all the wrong reasons. Even though it wasn't as disastrous as George Gerasimou's audition, Michael showed absolutely no signs of improvement as he received an inevitable four no's from the judges. He then showed that not only was he lacking talent, but also lacking sanity when he lay on the stage, pleading and begging! WTF?! Two words, Michael: Beat it! Will somebody please put this guy in an asylum?! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE....


The Poignant....

After Gary claimed he was sick of hearing Adele's songs being murdered sung on the X-Factor, I reckon that he might want to take back those words after Beth Ditto-lookalike Jade walked in and absolutely smashed it!!! She gave a very poignant rendition of Adele's Someone Like You and reduced Kelly and Louis to tears. She seemed extremely likeable and I strongly believe she has the potential to go all the way in the competition.  With the power to move the audience and the judges in that way was unbelievable. Watch out, Adele! There is yet another person out to steal your pretty, little platinum crown... All I can say about this girl is WOW!!! This girl's life is about to change FOREVER!!! Amazing!!!! Loved it!!!!

The Mid-life Crisis/Nut Job...


David Wilder - 42 going on 18 indeed! This 42-year-old teenager wannabe teenage rock star showed further evidence of the Chico/Jedward/Wagner Syndrome with a completely wacky, OTT and bizarre rendition of David Bowie's Life on Mars where he ran across the stage to the back of the arena for some peculiar reason. He was entertaining and funny, but baffled the audience and the judges (and me!) Despite being completely out-of-tune, wearing an absolutely hideous outfit and no talent whatsoever, the judges surprisingly voted him through but I can guarantee that he won't last long throughout the competition. But still, bless him. At least he tried...

The Teenage Dream(er)...

16-year-old Luke Lucas aka N-Dubz fan/ Tulisa lover brought the house down with his soulful rendition of Who's Loving You? by Michael Jackson, which proved a very brave choice of song and completely blew the house down, impressing both the audience and the judges. He was so adorable and even had all of his birthdays, Christmases, holidays, graduations, Thanksgivings (OK, getting too American here) all mishmashed into one when he got to peck Tulisa on the cheek and she gave him one back after nodding like an obedient puppy. This boy's teenage dream definitely became a reality!!! Two birds, one stone! *football hooligan accent* GET IN!

Are you loving the X-Factor??? Thoughts?


*excited giggles accompanied with seal clapping*