The X Factor Judges Houses - The Round Up

After a very tough boot camp, the X Factor went global as the 32 finalists flew across many exotic locations from LA to Miami, Greece to Barcelona, all over the world in a last attempt to make it to the live finals. But this was no vacation, it was strictly straight down to business as their fate was hanging by a thread! Some would make the cut, for others it was the next plane home and the competition ended there and then for the contestants. So get ready, for tears, talent, guest judges, singing, hearts being smashed into pieces and then more tears as we round up all the exotic drama as the X Factor goes global. There were many big shocks along the way, but the biggest shock of all I must say was Sinitta being dressed a lot more conservatively?! Not sure what happened there. Maybe she wasn't quite in the mood? Or couldn't be bothered?

Barcelona...

I was right after all! Louis had put Goldie through but she later dropped out and we learnt that she had been replaced by Sami. Also sad that Terry didn't make it through to the next round as I felt he delivered a good enough performance, but I suppose that's how the cookie crumbles. Goldie put in a rather eccentric performance of J.Lo's On the Floor, which was very baffling indeed. She would have been a complete nightmare to mentor so maybe it was a blessing. Or a curse? This was the last we ever saw of her. On the plus side, Jonjo made it through to Louis's final four. Despite being a bag of nerves, he showed tonnes of potential and could be the dark horse of the competition if he finds a way to control his nerves. It was to my utter surprise that Louis had chosen Kitty as he previously mentioned she would be a nightmare to mentor!! Well let's just see how the cookie crumbles on this one!!

LA...

Over in La La Land, Robbie Williams joined Gary in a LA in which he took a leaf out of Sinitta's book (or wardrobe in this case) and made an, ahem, 'grand entrance'. Anyways, it was down to serious business though as the boys were required to sing in order to win a place in the final. Unfortunately, Luke Lucas fell at the last hurdle as he proved to be struggling with his song choice. Despite showing oodles of potential in the first round of auditions, the pressure got too much it wasn't enough to get him through and he was sent home. Gutted about John though - second time unlucky.He was clearly a better singer than Frankie.  James was also a surprise, but I'm glad Craig got through. He'll go far in the competition. Glad Marcus got through, I was really routing for him as he absolutely smashed it. Not too sure about Frankie though. He seems to care more about getting laid then being a popstar. Maybe he should be on the Playboy channel instead of The X Factor...

Miami...

Over at Kelly's house in Miami where she was joined by Oscar-winner and American Idol alumni Jennifer Hudson with the girls. The X Factor became the Shock Factor when Jade failed to make it through and I would like to take this time to show my disdain. She should have went through! She has a beautiful voice! Someone who I never expected to get through was Sophie?! Still not too sure what to make of this but we will have to see whether she will prove to be a dark horse in the competition. Glad Amelia got through where she killed it with her rendition of E.T. Imagine if she and Katy Perry did a duet in the final?! Sick!!!!!!!!!!! No wait. Katy who?! Misha also impressed with her sassy appeal waiting to steal Jennifer's crown. Janet also made it through but needs to come out of her shell a bit! I reckon there are some serious contenders in the Girls category!!!! The heat is on!!!

Greece...

And the award for the most underwhelming category this year goes to .... *drum roll* the Groups. After a lot of mumbling and jumbling at boot camp, the final four were selected. But the jumbling didn't stop there after two lacklustre performances from The Keys and The Risk as Tulisa decided to take a risk of her own as she took the lead singer of The Keys and three fifths of The Risk and created a new group, retaining the name The Risk.  Slightly worrying as it may deter groups from trying out next year. But with the roaring success of One Direction it could work out beautifully. Two Shoes made it as did Nu Vibe and Rhythmix.

And as for the BIG TWIST...

Wonder what it could be...

• Another wild card where a few of the previous contestants are brought back and given a second chance to perform in the live finals?
• The return of Simon Cowell or a fifth judge?
• One of the finalists being eliminated before the finals even begin?

We shall have to wait and see. Exciting though...

The X Factor Auditions Weeks 4 and 5: The Final Batch of Auditions - The Round up

Things are really starting to heat up in the kitchen – I’m feeling the heat more than ever before! A lot of talent was really cooking in the kitchen where this weekend’s X Factor double bill never failed to impress where we were witnessing the birth of some potential popstars who wowed us last week. With a few mediocrities thrown in along the way, the kitchen was serving up more drama, more thrills, more talent, more enjoyment than ever before and it has all been given to us on a huge platter every weekend for the past few weeks! I think that this series of X Factor auditions are proving to be the most exciting and entertaining yet! Believe me when I say that this competition is about to get very fascinating indeed! Time to go into the kitchen and get a taste of some delectable auditions to whet our appetites and look through the last batch of this year's auditions....

The Couldn't Understand a Word you were Singing...

Graham was one of the memorable auditions of the week – for ALL the wrong reasons! As hilarious as it was, his audition was just one big car crash as no one could hear a single word he was singing and he was also completely out of tune!! With two equally horrendous renditions of She Bangs and Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me, his dancing was pretty mediocre (okay, that was an understatement!) everyone struggled to differentiate the two songs! It was all going so well, and then we were in the midst of a downward spiral in terms of the talent! Was freakin' hilarious though, but Graham? You are never EVER gonna go anywhere NEAR bootcamp!!! EVER!! 

The Singing hairdresser....

Image-obsessed Liverpudlian Marcus proved to be another huge surprise after singing a Stevie Wonder classic. Bringing along his family and clients along for moral support, Marcus blew the judges and audience away with his stage presence and soulful singing voice – he got the audience on their feet! Marks and Spencers will be welcoming him with their open arms! Other department stores better watch it!

The Potential Winners....

This weekend's X Factor double bill wasn't short of talent and we saw many potential winners, even if it still maybe too early to determine who's tipped for triumph (and the show is also cleverly edited too). The talent was extremely overwhelming and these lot are definitely guaranteed to make it in the real world. I reckon we may have had another Susan Boyle moment when 31-year-old leopard-print clad Samantha who initially suffered a serious case of verbal diarrhoea as a result of nerves and anxiety. She totally blew everyone away with her amazing singing voice and won the hearts of the audience and the judges as she managed to hit every note without fail and took everyone by surprise. The audience was still buzzing after her epic audition and she is becoming a firm favourite in the competition. She inevitable received a unanimous yes from the judging panel and was sailing through to the next round. She just needs to stop taking style tips from Scary Spice (in the earlier days!)  Another popular act was Lascel, who sang Kings of Leon's Use Somebody with his very own unique twist in which he slightly changed the lyrics in order to add that extra stamp of identity. This came across as very raw and believable. That was by far the best version of that song that I have ever heard and I really hope he goes far in the competition as I think he is amazing and has the ultimate likeability factor too. His smooth, strong, soulful voice absolutely moved me and I really hope he gets round to writing some amazing songs and making a killer record. Pixie Lott-lookalike Amelia Lily also proved to be a little powerhouse, especially for a 16-year-old girl. With just a little bit more work she could be truly amazing and could potentially sell millions and millions of records worldwide.  Then there was Jonjo, the soldier, whose nerves got the best of him at first but later on he totally killed it with his smooth voice and showed tonnes of potential but lack of self-belief which could easily be worked on methinks...

The disbanded girl group...

Girlband aptly-named Twisted had a rather disastrous audition when their version of Adele's Someone Like You was horrendous. - the worst version of that song that I have ever heard. They totally murdered it! They were less like a group and more like a really good singer and her backing singers (kinda reminds me of the Pussycat Dolls) Chrissy then auditioned alone after epicly failing with the other girls and totally killed it and proved that she didn't need the other girls. She was absolutely right to follow Kelly's advice. Thank God Kelly went after her and brought her back!

The further evidence of Jedward/Chico/Wagner Syndrome...

The X Factor then turned plastic fantastic when two rather shiny, colourful, out of tune hopefuls who go by the name of Kendro decided to plaster their lips in lip gloss for some relatively unknown reason before murdering singing Lady Gaga's Born This Way rather badly and their dancing was even worse. Nonetheless, they managed to win the judges over (except Gary) with this mediocre audition and were put through to the next round, even though they obviously won't last very long in the competition.  Hmmm....

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The Only Way may be Essex after all...

Two tanorexics who go by the name of 2 Shoes also took to the stage in matching outfits hailing all the way from Essex. They became a huge surprise after singing All My Life with their powerful voices and brought some soul and fire to the X-Factor auditions. They would look so much more beautiful if they removed all of that make-up and fake tan as they look like they've tried too hard but that can easily be worked on with an army of stylists. With a make-under and more work on their vocals, these girls are potentially superstars!!!

The Nut job...

Natasha came on stage in a purple dress that threatened to set her boobs and bits free and failed to impress with her (not-so-sexy) dancing!! She was very scary in a million ways. She sang completely out of tune, out of time, and out of everything and gave the audience and the judges a banging headache. She kept having to pull up that dress as it kept falling down! Her obsession with Gary was also very, very disturbing and creepy. This was one disastrous, car crash audition. She has NO singing voice! Definitely a NEVER from me!!! Who's idea was it to take the X Factor auditions to Wales?!

The Maths Cutie...

Just as we were losing faith in Wales in terms of the lacklustre talent it was giving us, fit Maths teacher John Adams made everyone want to go back to school when he auditioned in Cardiff with his beautiful singing voice and extremely good looks. Swoon!!! He was looking very dapper on that stage I must say and he had an amazing voice!!! What is there not to love about this guy! He can teach me maths any time!!! He had loads of likeability, charm and I really hope he makes an album at some point...

The Never too late to make it...

31-year-old Michelle showed that after having four kids that its never too late to make it big as she stormed the stage with her beautiful singing voice and reduced Tulisa to tears after bringing back memories of her own mum and will definitely prove to be popular in the Overs category! Very poignant. 51-year-old Terry also blew the audience and the judges away on the second part of the final auditions shows when he sung a Michael Bolton song and proved that he still had it after all these years...

The Comeback King...

John Wilding auditioned last year and reached the judges houses stage of the competition. After being knocked down, he wasn't going to be knocked out as he came back better than ever. It's always a huge gamble returning but I believe that John has a real chance here as he showed off a very powerful voice hitting every single note without fail. This performance was really enjoyable and mind-blowing to watch. Very difficult to sing anything by Jennifer Hudson, but he definitely did it justice and Jennifer would be proud if she ever got round to seeing this!!!


The Bad Boy Gone Good....


Bradley, who had been previously expelled from three schools in the past blew the judges away with his rather unique, raspy singing voice. He had that sort of indie tone to his voice. Even though he seemed nervous he proved that he was a changed man, as Chris Brown would say. He has a very soothing and mellow tone to his voice and also had the likeability factor. The competition has just got even more interesting. He even ended up getting emotional over the overwhelming support at the end - bless him! Looking forward to hearing his album, as of when it gets released...


The Persistent Nut Job...


Should they really have shown this audition? Some people just do NOT know when to give up and I don't mean this in a good way either. No point coming back if they are showing no signs of improvement. This applies to 54-year-old  Ceri, who had her forth stint on the X Factor and thought that after Simon's departure from the judging panel, she might stand a chance and make it through to boot camp. After not singing I Dreamed a Dream, she sang I Will Always Love You, which sounded even more out of tune and out of time and she murdered such an iconic song. Not exactly Susan Boyle. Was entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons!! It's clear that this woman seems to be very ill indeed! Her singing was even worse than previous years so she got four flat-out no's. Sack the singing tutor!! Hopefully, there's a refund policy...


The 'Please Get a Room!'....


These two people were sickening! Neil and Margaret both had bad teeth and showed too much PDAs as they both auditioned separately and were equally terrible! Both of them were out of tune and had a terrible image! Neil did some terrible dad-dancing and his singing was just as bad, if not worse! But at least they were on the same boat as they both received four no's. This has probably brought them even closer together!  Margaret bit back whilst Neil seemed a lot nicer! They could sing to each other but just not to the rest of the world! So please, please, please get a room!!!

R.I.P X Factor 2011 auditions... You shall be sorely missed...
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NOT LONG NOW TILL THE X-FACTOR USA!!!

So FOOKIN' excited!!!!!!!!!!!! ITV2. 22nd - 23rd SEPTEMBER - IT'S A DATE!!!

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

A song which I can easily relate to and identify with - my new anthem! One of the most poignant, uplifting, relatable, inspiring, well-written songs I've heard in a long time! Full of meaning and emotion! Not usually a fan of Demi Lovato but this song has completely converted me, expressing her true, honest self and documenting her journey from a dark place in her life to rising above it like a Skyscraper! All about overcoming low self-esteem and saying a huge f*** you to all the people who berate you and unnecessarily put you down. Love it! This girl is definitely on my radar!

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper

Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence, as it's ending, like we never had a chance.
Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears
I awaken and untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed
All my windows still are broken but I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

Go run run run I'm gonna stay right here
Watch you disappear yeah
Go run run run yeah it's a long way down
But I'm closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Ohh
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper