The X Factor Semi Finals - The Round Up

Last night, the aromatic smell of victory was floating in the air as the final four took to the shimmering stage and sang their young hearts out for a place in next week's final ( I can't believe it has come so quick!!!). It feels like only yesterday that they were just fresh-faced auditionees wanting a shot at a music career and it is so impressive of how far they have come. Even if they don't win, it does not matter at all -  they are definitely guaranteed a career of some sort in music or any other sectors of the entertainment industry. Last night the pressure was on like Donkey Kong!!! The final four all sang two songs each - one Motown classic and one that they believe will get them into the final! It's crunch time!!!

The X Factor Quarter Finals - The Round Up

And then there were 5! That coveted record deal is drawing nearer and nearer. As weeks have gone by I have noticed that these have gotten shorter and shorter by the week! Just goes to show how quickly time flies! This week  the theme was Heroes and Guilty Pleasures and each of the finalists had two songs each - one 'guilty pleasure' song and one by one of their musical heroes. So who was flying high in the sky and who got a taste of Kryptonite and fell flat?

The X Factor Live Show Week 6 - The Round Up

In the words of Alan Carr, what a week it's been! Frankie Cocozza exited The X Factor so it opened up a place for one of the previous contestants who never got to face a public vote - Amelia Lily, James Michael, Jonjo Kerr and 2 Shoes. The public made the right choice and voted Amelia Lily back in which was the best decision ever made!!! Not sure why they got rid of her in the first place, to be honest! Anyway, this week's X Factor paid tribute to the wonderful Lady Gaga and Queen, who both totally smashed it at the MTV EMA's last week with knockout performances. So it was time to find out, who was on the edge of glory, and who just needed to shut their Playboy mouth?

The X Factor Live Show Week 5 - The Round Up

And then there were nine!!! Note to Dermot O'Leary: As much as I love you and think that you look very dapper in those suits every week, Halloween was last week and we therefore do not need your dancing every week. Sack the zombie choreographer!! Anyways, it was time to whip out those dancing shoes and get the mirrorballs out. It was Club Classics week, but who completely painted the town red and who was just murder on the dancefloor (not in a good way either)?

The X Factor Auditions Weeks 4 and 5: The Final Batch of Auditions - The Round up

Things are really starting to heat up in the kitchen – I’m feeling the heat more than ever before! A lot of talent was really cooking in the kitchen where this weekend’s X Factor double bill never failed to impress where we were witnessing the birth of some potential popstars who wowed us last week. With a few mediocrities thrown in along the way, the kitchen was serving up more drama, more thrills, more talent, more enjoyment than ever before and it has all been given to us on a huge platter every weekend for the past few weeks! I think that this series of X Factor auditions are proving to be the most exciting and entertaining yet! Believe me when I say that this competition is about to get very fascinating indeed! Time to go into the kitchen and get a taste of some delectable auditions to whet our appetites and look through the last batch of this year's auditions....

The Couldn't Understand a Word you were Singing...

Graham was one of the memorable auditions of the week – for ALL the wrong reasons! As hilarious as it was, his audition was just one big car crash as no one could hear a single word he was singing and he was also completely out of tune!! With two equally horrendous renditions of She Bangs and Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me, his dancing was pretty mediocre (okay, that was an understatement!) everyone struggled to differentiate the two songs! It was all going so well, and then we were in the midst of a downward spiral in terms of the talent! Was freakin' hilarious though, but Graham? You are never EVER gonna go anywhere NEAR bootcamp!!! EVER!! 

The Singing hairdresser....

Image-obsessed Liverpudlian Marcus proved to be another huge surprise after singing a Stevie Wonder classic. Bringing along his family and clients along for moral support, Marcus blew the judges and audience away with his stage presence and soulful singing voice – he got the audience on their feet! Marks and Spencers will be welcoming him with their open arms! Other department stores better watch it!

The Potential Winners....

This weekend's X Factor double bill wasn't short of talent and we saw many potential winners, even if it still maybe too early to determine who's tipped for triumph (and the show is also cleverly edited too). The talent was extremely overwhelming and these lot are definitely guaranteed to make it in the real world. I reckon we may have had another Susan Boyle moment when 31-year-old leopard-print clad Samantha who initially suffered a serious case of verbal diarrhoea as a result of nerves and anxiety. She totally blew everyone away with her amazing singing voice and won the hearts of the audience and the judges as she managed to hit every note without fail and took everyone by surprise. The audience was still buzzing after her epic audition and she is becoming a firm favourite in the competition. She inevitable received a unanimous yes from the judging panel and was sailing through to the next round. She just needs to stop taking style tips from Scary Spice (in the earlier days!)  Another popular act was Lascel, who sang Kings of Leon's Use Somebody with his very own unique twist in which he slightly changed the lyrics in order to add that extra stamp of identity. This came across as very raw and believable. That was by far the best version of that song that I have ever heard and I really hope he goes far in the competition as I think he is amazing and has the ultimate likeability factor too. His smooth, strong, soulful voice absolutely moved me and I really hope he gets round to writing some amazing songs and making a killer record. Pixie Lott-lookalike Amelia Lily also proved to be a little powerhouse, especially for a 16-year-old girl. With just a little bit more work she could be truly amazing and could potentially sell millions and millions of records worldwide.  Then there was Jonjo, the soldier, whose nerves got the best of him at first but later on he totally killed it with his smooth voice and showed tonnes of potential but lack of self-belief which could easily be worked on methinks...

The disbanded girl group...

Girlband aptly-named Twisted had a rather disastrous audition when their version of Adele's Someone Like You was horrendous. - the worst version of that song that I have ever heard. They totally murdered it! They were less like a group and more like a really good singer and her backing singers (kinda reminds me of the Pussycat Dolls) Chrissy then auditioned alone after epicly failing with the other girls and totally killed it and proved that she didn't need the other girls. She was absolutely right to follow Kelly's advice. Thank God Kelly went after her and brought her back!

The further evidence of Jedward/Chico/Wagner Syndrome...

The X Factor then turned plastic fantastic when two rather shiny, colourful, out of tune hopefuls who go by the name of Kendro decided to plaster their lips in lip gloss for some relatively unknown reason before murdering singing Lady Gaga's Born This Way rather badly and their dancing was even worse. Nonetheless, they managed to win the judges over (except Gary) with this mediocre audition and were put through to the next round, even though they obviously won't last very long in the competition.  Hmmm....

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The Only Way may be Essex after all...

Two tanorexics who go by the name of 2 Shoes also took to the stage in matching outfits hailing all the way from Essex. They became a huge surprise after singing All My Life with their powerful voices and brought some soul and fire to the X-Factor auditions. They would look so much more beautiful if they removed all of that make-up and fake tan as they look like they've tried too hard but that can easily be worked on with an army of stylists. With a make-under and more work on their vocals, these girls are potentially superstars!!!

The Nut job...

Natasha came on stage in a purple dress that threatened to set her boobs and bits free and failed to impress with her (not-so-sexy) dancing!! She was very scary in a million ways. She sang completely out of tune, out of time, and out of everything and gave the audience and the judges a banging headache. She kept having to pull up that dress as it kept falling down! Her obsession with Gary was also very, very disturbing and creepy. This was one disastrous, car crash audition. She has NO singing voice! Definitely a NEVER from me!!! Who's idea was it to take the X Factor auditions to Wales?!

The Maths Cutie...

Just as we were losing faith in Wales in terms of the lacklustre talent it was giving us, fit Maths teacher John Adams made everyone want to go back to school when he auditioned in Cardiff with his beautiful singing voice and extremely good looks. Swoon!!! He was looking very dapper on that stage I must say and he had an amazing voice!!! What is there not to love about this guy! He can teach me maths any time!!! He had loads of likeability, charm and I really hope he makes an album at some point...

The Never too late to make it...

31-year-old Michelle showed that after having four kids that its never too late to make it big as she stormed the stage with her beautiful singing voice and reduced Tulisa to tears after bringing back memories of her own mum and will definitely prove to be popular in the Overs category! Very poignant. 51-year-old Terry also blew the audience and the judges away on the second part of the final auditions shows when he sung a Michael Bolton song and proved that he still had it after all these years...

The Comeback King...

John Wilding auditioned last year and reached the judges houses stage of the competition. After being knocked down, he wasn't going to be knocked out as he came back better than ever. It's always a huge gamble returning but I believe that John has a real chance here as he showed off a very powerful voice hitting every single note without fail. This performance was really enjoyable and mind-blowing to watch. Very difficult to sing anything by Jennifer Hudson, but he definitely did it justice and Jennifer would be proud if she ever got round to seeing this!!!


The Bad Boy Gone Good....


Bradley, who had been previously expelled from three schools in the past blew the judges away with his rather unique, raspy singing voice. He had that sort of indie tone to his voice. Even though he seemed nervous he proved that he was a changed man, as Chris Brown would say. He has a very soothing and mellow tone to his voice and also had the likeability factor. The competition has just got even more interesting. He even ended up getting emotional over the overwhelming support at the end - bless him! Looking forward to hearing his album, as of when it gets released...


The Persistent Nut Job...


Should they really have shown this audition? Some people just do NOT know when to give up and I don't mean this in a good way either. No point coming back if they are showing no signs of improvement. This applies to 54-year-old  Ceri, who had her forth stint on the X Factor and thought that after Simon's departure from the judging panel, she might stand a chance and make it through to boot camp. After not singing I Dreamed a Dream, she sang I Will Always Love You, which sounded even more out of tune and out of time and she murdered such an iconic song. Not exactly Susan Boyle. Was entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons!! It's clear that this woman seems to be very ill indeed! Her singing was even worse than previous years so she got four flat-out no's. Sack the singing tutor!! Hopefully, there's a refund policy...


The 'Please Get a Room!'....


These two people were sickening! Neil and Margaret both had bad teeth and showed too much PDAs as they both auditioned separately and were equally terrible! Both of them were out of tune and had a terrible image! Neil did some terrible dad-dancing and his singing was just as bad, if not worse! But at least they were on the same boat as they both received four no's. This has probably brought them even closer together!  Margaret bit back whilst Neil seemed a lot nicer! They could sing to each other but just not to the rest of the world! So please, please, please get a room!!!

R.I.P X Factor 2011 auditions... You shall be sorely missed...
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NOT LONG NOW TILL THE X-FACTOR USA!!!

So FOOKIN' excited!!!!!!!!!!!! ITV2. 22nd - 23rd SEPTEMBER - IT'S A DATE!!!