Boy, does the X-Factor get better and better each week. I am officially an addict. The X-Factor has become my very own brand of heroin. I have to (metaphorically, so that this doesn't get taken out of context!) have a fix every week. How on earth will I SURVIVE when it ends?! The X-Factor is slowly morphing into the Shock Factor!! More bitching, more craziness, more melodrama, more talent, if you want more, you'll be getting more with a The Superbitchy...
Three ladies aka girl group Angel, popped up on stage with their hideous rendition of Willow Smith's Whip my Hair, but by the looks of things, these ladies need to be whipped back and forth themselves into shape as their attitude was despicable. Tulisa told them they couldn't sing and one of the girls bounced back by replying 'A bit rich coming from you!', consequently making the audience and the judges jaws drop. The other two girls, on the other hand, just happily stood there on the sidelines, seemingly disapproving and ashamed. Kelly then retaliated and came to Tulisa's defence by telling the girls a few home truths:
"Can I just say one thing, coming from a female group that always talks about how women should come together and they shouldn't be bitchy towards one another - I understand that you have an opinion, but at the same time, you came here for us to judge you and there was no reason for you to come back at her like that.
"I can tell that these two don't appreciate the fact that you did that, because what if you just messed up their chances for an opportunity, they are the group!"
Go Kelly! I'm completely on the judges' side here! What would Germaine Greer or Mary Wollstonecraft say? These girls need to read up on (First, Second and Third Wave) feminism. That's where my course texts and books from my degree would come in handy methinks. At least now I wouldn't have to throw them all away, I could just highlight all the relevant pages and ram them down their pretty, little out-of-tune, bitchy throats (well one in particular!) I am feeling a massive urge to give them a copy of 'The Vindication of the Rights of Women', since it won't be of any use to me in the near future...
The History repeating itself....
Michael Lewis auditioned last year as a bargain basement Michael Jackson (the poor man would definitely have turned in his grave) in a vivid, sequinned jacket and what looked like an awful wig! This time, he decided to strip himself of all of the gimmicks and pretentiousness and audition as himself. Was he any better? *black woman American Southern accent* OOOH HEEEELLLLL NO! Singing a poor rendition of Geri Halliwell's Look at Me, people were no doubt looking at him but for all the wrong reasons. Even though it wasn't as disastrous as George Gerasimou's audition, Michael showed absolutely no signs of improvement as he received an inevitable four no's from the judges. He then showed that not only was he lacking talent, but also lacking sanity when he lay on the stage, pleading and begging! WTF?! Two words, Michael: Beat it! Will somebody please put this guy in an asylum?! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE....
The Poignant....
After Gary claimed he was sick of hearing Adele's songs being
The Mid-life Crisis/Nut Job...
David Wilder - 42 going on 18 indeed! This 42-year-old
The Teenage Dream(er)...
16-year-old Luke Lucas aka N-Dubz fan/ Tulisa lover brought the house down with his soulful rendition of Who's Loving You? by Michael Jackson, which proved a very brave choice of song and completely blew the house down, impressing both the audience and the judges. He was so adorable and even had all of his birthdays, Christmases, holidays, graduations, Thanksgivings (OK, getting too American here) all mishmashed into one when he got to peck Tulisa on the cheek and she gave him one back after nodding like an obedient puppy. This boy's teenage dream definitely became a reality!!! Two birds, one stone! *football hooligan accent* GET IN!
Are you loving the X-Factor??? Thoughts?
*excited giggles accompanied with seal clapping*
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